I’ve been doing some research on female abuse of males in marriages for a movie script I’m co writing. I never knew this issue was as rampant as it is and yet there is hardly any publicity given to it, even in the Western world. Its so bad that when there’s a fight where the woman assaults the man and he calls the police, most of the times the man is taken away even when there is evidence to prove it. Even getting help is a problem as there is a lack of institutions set up to deal with abuse of men.
Many of this have to do with some women abusing the laws that was supposed to prevent men molesting women. The laws are good but shouldn’t there be laws to protect men who have been abused by women? In the UK some women have taken this as a money making act where they stress the guy to the point where he asks for a divorce and she takes 50 percent of the properties they own.
Even in Nigeria here, the cases of female violence on men is on the increase. But since this is a patriarchal society, no man wants to speak and be called a wussie. Same thing for the cases of boy child rape where some people even claim that it’s a right of passage sexually for men and even some of the victims see nothing wrong with it.
A Nigerian NGO against female violence headed by a female advocate claims that many men are coming to her to tell their stories of being abused by their wives which has surprised her but since they were set up to deal only with female victims, there is little she can do.
Granted that there isn’t as much physical violence from females on males as the reverse due to their biological make up. But when a woman constantly insults and ridicules her man in public, speaks ill about him and threatens him, That is emotional and psychological abuse which is even more dangerous than physical abuse. The strain from such constant abuse can weigh down on such men and make them depressed. Some have even committed suicide as they feel worthless.
There is a lot of advocacy for female victims of violence by men which is a good development as women in many parts of the world have been (and are being) stifled in their development because of their sex. Many men have been brought up to see hitting women as wrong. But because most men don’t hit back doesn’t give the women the right to hit and abuse their men. If even half of the advocacy against female violence was done for the men, it would go a long way.
It’s such a shame that many people here in Nigeria rubbish such stories by saying the man was weak or is a wuss. But that’s not the case most times. Many women are using the recent trend of their being favored for jobs and being the bread winners in their families to abuse their men believing they are the bosses of the house. There are also women who erroneously believe that being a “strong woman” equates to one who can verbally spar and dominate their male counterparts and applaud the rise of aggressive females in the corporate world. They also believe that a real man should be able to “discipline” his women even if it means physical assault.
Those in countries like Nigeria believe that it isn’t that common but its growing. One of the reasons behind the failure of the gender equality bill in the senate was because many of the male lawmakers feared that giving women more rights in Nigeria would emasculate many of the male folks but it doesn’t have to be like that. Violence against women by men should be abhorred and so should violence against men by women.
The world is in the midst of constant change so I believe that lawmakers worldwide should make laws that protect male victims of abuse by women.Every family unit needs a strong father figure but when they are undermined, its not only the father that suffers but the children as well. One can see this by the reckless behavior put up by youth worldwide, many of whom never had a father figure. So I say we have to look into this matter before its too late.